sling's sarcastic crapland

Sony and their Pussy Lily Pad Commercial - I'm SERIOUS!

2007-01-28T16:03:00.000-04:00

Just watch that...

"Hi PUSSY"

Yea, they're supposed to be Pussy Willows but come on. Sony, did you even think before you made this? This is 10billion times worse than Nintendo naming their console Wii.

PSP = Pussy Station Portable

ROFL.

Sony, you guys keep showing you still got it...

And did anyone laugh at that GT4 HD screwup Sony had on the PSP.connect.com website? They used Forza Motorsport (XBOX) car advert by accident.

Face it. PlayStation is dying. Sony's made all the wrong moves in every department.

Play it again and laugh some more my friends...

Link Loves Anne Hathaway!

2007-01-19T13:35:00.000-04:00

Click it.

This is ROFL too funny. Zelda, scoot over, Link likes his women with large voluptuous breasts.

ROFL.

What else can you guys try?

Wii, PS3, Xbox 360 & Gamecube Google Sketch Up Renderings

2007-01-17T15:35:00.000-04:00

Right before I was about to go to bed last night, I noticed I had installed Google Sketch Up on my computer. I decided to try it out again and ended up drawing a Wii, PS3, and Gamecube.

Here are my renders. They are rather basic, but I think anyone who knows anything about videogames would be able to tell what consoles they are. I left out the B trigger on the Wii-remote - just noticed it now. Obviously, none of the consoles are drawn to scale, unless that person who is in the renders is miniscule like the Minish people (Zelda players should understand).

Enjoy!

Wii:

PS3:

Xbox 360:

Gamecube:

Keep in mind these renders each took about 5-8 minutes to draw, and in the end I think they came out pretty good. Not excellent, but decent.

You can find all of these images in my FLICKR album.

--->>>> Flickr Album!

PlayStation Marketing Man - Sony, you devil you

2007-01-11T13:54:00.000-04:00

Kotaku had the scoop on this. Check this out. A man holding a PSP with a PSP Camera attached to it with a huge ass PS3 neck strap attached to the PSP's loop hole. And on top of that he's taking using the PSP camera to take a picture of a a PS3 game and also is holding a Sony Vaio laptop device. Call it anything you want, but either he is the biggest Sony nerd ever or it's another one of Sony's desperate marketing schemes. Remember "Alliwantforxmasisapsp.com"? And Sony coughed up to that one. Sony wins the award this year for most failures of the year.

source: Kotaku

Let's list some of Sony's major mistakes of 2006 shall we? And it doesn't look like it will end in 2007 either...

1. Laptop battery explosions deal massive damage to Sony's weak spot
2. PS3 fails to ship in Spring 2006, and then is faced with huge shortages when it launches in Nov. 2006
3. PS3s are failing to sell now and owners are either selling them on eBay for less than the original MSRP or returning them to stores
4. James Bond: Casino Royale doesn't make #1 spot for 2 weeks. It's beaten by penguins in the movie Happy Feet. Also, it's sad to see Sony advertise Sony Ericsson mobile phones constantly in the movie along with Vaio laptops, Cyber-Shot digital cameras and sneaking in "Bravia" on one of the internet pages someone in the movie looks at in the beginning. Shameful advertising.
5. The PSP is totally devastated by the DS. 2006 proved that the PSP is dying...
6. Sony and all their failed viral campaigns spawn complaints Ex) graffiti styled freaks with PSPs in major cities, another example being the black and white PSP ad that sparked controversy in Europe.
7. PS3 controller loses rumble, adds 6 axis (which is just a weak version of the Wii remote)
8. Samsung pulls ahead of Sony as the new leader in consumer electronics manufacturer. Sony is dethroned as the "king".

Good luck in the new year Sony.

My predictions for this console war are as follows.

Wii
Xbox 360
PS3

I think a new king is coming, and he will Wii all over the competition.

Nintendo obsessed with the Number TWO!!

2007-01-06T14:19:00.000-04:00

Ok, after watching the trailer for the upcoming Jim Carrey movie, Number 23, I discovered something. This is most likely coincidence. But I just wanted to share it with you all.

-Nintendo DS = TWO Screens
-Wii has TWO USB ports in the back
-Wii's full controller setup is made up of TWO parts - the remote and the nunchuk
-The Wii logo is made of TWO "ii" - both representing TWO people
-Wii was released TWO days before the PS3
-There are TWO versions of Zelda: Twilight Princess
-Reggie is ready to let the GBA die, leaving TWO systems for Nintendo to focus on
-Wii can play TWO types of discs (Gamecube and Wii)
-TWO versions of the DS are available (DS and DS lite)
-When Pokemon games for handhelds first debut, they are released in TWO versions (R&B, Ruby&Sapphire, Fire Red&Leaf Green, Pearl&Diamond)
-Nintendo has TWO big honchos now. Iwata and Reggie. Both able to kick major ass.
-The DS launched in 2004, Wii in 2006, 2006 - 2004 = TWO YEARS

Freaky? Am I overthinking it? Maybe it just sounds a little cool. Too cool if you ask me.

Hideo Kojima doesn't give a fart about HD, but is amazed at MP3 player!

2007-01-05T20:32:00.000-04:00

I reiterate. Seems that news of Hideo not caring about HD (man, the fanboys for Sony got crushed, and the Wii fanboys pee'd their pants) has spread all over the internet. All over the globe. It's in Russian, it's in French. Quite the excitement eh? I knew it would be.

So WTF does amaze Hideo? THIS:

This is the kind of loving gaming needs. It needs a network. ONE network. Not 3 networks. There is no unison in gaming. And I believe there may well never be. Xbox Live is making quite a name for itself. It's got what is it - millions of members? The PlayStation Network is shaming itself again. With it's unoriginal name and then failing to deliver immediately. Online I believe will always belong to Microsoft. Microsoft is experienced with online infrastructure thru their Windows platform. Sony however is a hardware maker. Their applications have mostly sucked in comparison to Microsofts. Nintendo with their Nintendo Wi-Fi Connection - another boring name has still yet to come to the table (at least for the Wii). There is still a great lack of wi-fi mode for DS games anyway. As for infrastructure mode (aka ONLINE) on the PSP. It's a complete failure. If homebrew was not phenomenal in the late months of 2006, the PSP would have died. Homebrew single handedly saved the PSP. Dark_Alex is to be commended for his amazing strides. He has tapped the PSP for more than it's worth. If Sony had done it themselves, PSP sales would be a little better. Instead they're trounced on. A new redesigned PSP in 2007 would be a great strategy for Sony to get a second chance to make the PSP deliver.

Thank you and much love to all the websites that featured my scan or quoted it and linked back here.

PS3 eBay babes - thank you compiler dude and wii sports pack

2007-01-05T14:24:00.000-04:00

A genius did the unthinkable. He compiled all the PS3 eBay sluts onto one website. It's a shame that PS3s on ebay are dipping in the gray market. What happened to women being sick and tired of being portrayed as slutty hos and bitches? Well, apparently it was a lie. Women love money. PS3 = money. So even if you're fuckin ugly, you'd still go and buy a PS3 and then use your sex appeal (most of the ones on the site don't even have it...) to sell you one. Sure they're mostly just slutty bitches from hicksville, but I will post a few that were funny enough to be posted. Note, the "chicks" may be butt ugly, but hey it was funny.

Her room is that messy, and looks like she barely has any furniture, but she can afford a PS3?

Notice how there is some kind of liquor bottle near Call of Duty 3 (in the left) and how there are bud light cans used as decoration for her tree...oh wait...you couldn't see because of the big boobies right?

Hey Kutaragi, enjoying the view? (and 2 of the ugliest asian lesbos I've ever seen)

I knew the PS3 box was huge, but damn...that big? Either that or she's really skimpy..I mean shrimpy...

She was so desperate she went out and showed us her tits. Not even good tits at that. You slutty whore.

Because I cannot find a friggin hoster that lets you host tits. Here you go. The direct link:

Tit seller

This girl is either the ugliest PS3 seller ever or she's a HE...

No fair...this girl is probably some hooker on the web...we want to see your real ugly self!!!

And this one just wins too. Because photoshopping a B/W pic and a PS3 box. Nice. Superb. You are the \/\/||\|Z012z

I saved the best for last. She, I would actually buy a PS3 from. $1 <--my high bid.

Some company is releasing a Wii Sports Pack. Wait what? ANOTHER Wii sports game? Not exactly. They're more like little plastic add-ons to snap your wii remote into and then make it feel more like a sport equipment. Take for example this one:

It's the BAT for the Wii Baseball. Um. Does that look familiar? Looks sort of like a baton stick that police officers carry. Well now you know what really bored college girls with no men in sight can get. Well it'll be mostly the lonely, depressed, ugly ones who fear commitment. Think about it. A dark boring night. Two lonely horny college girls. And there ya go. Instant dildo. Only bigger and more fun. If they get tired, they can always go into wii sports and play.

Or say this one, for tennis:

The tennis one can be used for ass spanking. Oh baby. Daddy wants some spanky spanky eh?

Here's some more cool stuff.

2007-01-04T13:27:00.000-04:00

Ho ho ho.

Major props to Kotaku.com and Maxconsole.net (a little credit link wouldn't hurt ya know) and Go Nintendo (credit..ahem...) and 1up.com (made 1up.com news baby!) for posting the news about Hideo Kojima not caring about HD.

I've created a flickr account, so here ya go. share away!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/31211203@N00/

Also, I didn't blog for a while until I restarted yesterday. Major props to psp.updates.qj.net and psp3d (also, dude, how about providing the original youtube link to my vid hmm?) for posting up my video of the HUGE PSP billboard in soho that had dead pixels. For the millionth time, they're not reflections of any street lamps.

You can see that here:

Well. That's 7x my news has been featured.

What do we have?

Kotaku.com
Maxconsole.net
Gonintendo.com
1up.com

pspupdates.qj.net
psp3d.xhardwarereviews.com

4colorrebellion.com

How cool is that?

Here's the 5th place I was mentioned.

$ Color Rebellion - FZERO DECAL

How about I clean this site up a bit and take things a bit more seriously? Who here thinks so?

Anyway. If you want the rest. Catch them in my flickr set mentioned above. For those who are too lazy:

Here's a preview:

So WTF does amaze Hideo? THIS:

This one for your NES nuts. It's only 24.99 ONLY!! ONLY!!

This one is being thrown at you Gizmodo.com:

Check this wicked stuff I snapped

2007-01-03T20:34:00.000-04:00

Saw these over at Virgin Megastore in Times Square:

And this was just too fucking funny to not share:

And this is supposed to be BBQ Chicken on Pizza, but looks like SHIT on a slice:

Whoever made this knew this product couldn't sell unless it was to a fucking ghetto:

How do you fuck up on SHIGERU MIYAMOTO's name? SIGERU? Shameful, Edge Magazine's 1990s compilation should just fart on itself.

Gamepro reveals that Hideo Kojima doesn't give a flying fuck about HD in videogames afterall:

The tag "tetris" etched into a NYC subway car is fucking hilarious. good job.

The name of the store is simple: FOOD. But when I went in, there was anything but food in there. The place smelled worse than a Pakistani bedroom.

I hate UMDs so much. I burnt one.

I have a shit load more which I'll put up in the next post.

PS3turbating...ewww

2006-09-22T12:23:00.000-04:00

(Yawn). Another day, another entry. It's autumn already you little ass punks. Yea, I'm getting old (I'm 99 turning 100 soon!), so don't forget to mark your calendars. This Thanksgiving, gamers will have lots to be thankful for. They have Wii and PS3 to hold them off til Xmas and then they can all just play some nice seXBox - oops, I mean't XBox 360 games that are starting like Gears of Wars. Maybe even squeeze in a game of LocoRoco on the PSP and probably hit some of the "touching" games on the DS. Yea, it's a great holiday season to be a gamer. That is until, you all find out that Nintendo packaged in real wees into their consoles instead of the Wii and you all realize that your PS3s smell awfully gross and have this filthy white secretion on them.

Just leaked yesterday, were images of Sony PS3 manufacturing employees sexually abusing everyone's PS3s. What you think is NEW inside your PS3 box, might not be so NEW afterall. Check these out. Know what they're doing? I've dubbed these sinful people, PS3turbators. Yep. The images show all the proof one could ever need on why their PS3s aren't so shiny, and are more "sticky".

Never missing the opportunity to embarrass Sony and their lagging handheld console. Here's the original prototype PSP sony released at e3 2004. Fishies on da screen. Where did da fishies go Sony? What did you do to the poor fishies? I want to know where they went! Anyways, all I want to say to Sony is IN YOUR UGLY FACE. Why? Everyone laughed at the Nintendo DS when it's prototype was shown and Sony seems to have forgotten their original proto was fugly too. Meanwhile, the NDS was redesigned and then redesigned again. And now look who's sexier. Eat it your sexiness Sony. EAT IT!

Sony's decided to stop intentionally putting Disc Read Errors and other bugs into their PS3s because they secretly have had their workers do the nasty for fifteen minutes with each and every 500,000 consoles they've made and plan to launch with. Get them while the fishies are still fresh. Now that I think about it, that's where the PSP fishies went. They went out of the PS3turbators onto future PS3 owners. Euro chaps, take note of this, you might be glad your PS3 launch is delayed now hmmm?

Nintendo DS, a wonderful system it is. Just needs to stop giving us shit we don't want. In a way, it's trying to be everything the PSP is and it's sucking huge elephant ass by doing so.

Europe is set to get an MP3 player feature that plugs into the DS's GBA cart. Well, here's what I think I'll do, and what many other people will say:

Sure seems like Euro get's all the crap no one wants. Like Talkman for the PSP. Man, was that stupid.

Then we have Tingle, who if anyone has played Zelda, knows is a walking, talking fruitcake. EGM rated him in the latest issue as the gayest videogame character ever. And I think that's fair game, but when I saw the picture of King of Cosmos from Katamari Damacy (note: I've never played this game, because it looks so stupid) I couldn't help but think he was gayer than tingle. But Tingle's goal of being a fairy is damned queer and the fact that he's 34 doesn't add to his cause.

Now, there may be those of you who think I'm so sort of homophobe, but I'm not. In fact I happen to have a gay friend, but he's more "Will Truman-gay" (Will and Grace) than say "Jack McFarlane-gay" (Will and Grace). And I have no problem, as long as gay guys don't act like girls. That bit annoys me. Why not get a sex change and be a girl then?

I got off topic a bit, so let's get back on track. Thanks to everyone who loves my blog. To all my Pojo board fans and followers, thanks mucho. I only wish you'd all get accounts and comment me or something. Give me ideas etc.

As for why I chose Jessica Simpson's annoying song for the video (which you can now see below, it's also on http://www.sennenrage.vze.com), it's because I hate her so much and I want it to annoy the living breathing hell out of you all while watching it. Really. To annoy you all with a ditzy whore who enjoys having her father produce music videos for her that involve her wearing a thin bikini slathering soap all over a car. Thanks Papa Simpson, we enjoyed your daughter just as much as you do. You little sick freak. Any girl would agree they wouldn't want their father seeing them like that. Even a ho-bag like Britney Spears would agree.

I know you all may not like what I say, and may think I'm just a little too hard on the celebs and Sony and everything basically, but I tell it like it is. Nothing special to it, but the brutal honest truth.

Enjoy your weekend breath of Autumn, and I'll cya next week to bring you another episode of Sling Blades Pile of Crap. Thanks everybody, and good night!

An Apple a Day Will Rob Your Money Away!

2006-09-13T13:56:00.000-04:00

An apple a day will rob your money away as the saying goes. Yes it appears the slogan's been updated. I'm going to hold off on bashing the pink PSP for just sec. I know I should rename the blog to "ihatepsp.blogspot.com" right? The topic at hand today is iPod. Some may have noticed I dropped quite a few F bombs in the last post. I think it was completely necessary. After having said that, let's drop some more F bombs if necessary today shall we?

Before anyone goes to cry and say I'm a satanist and that I hate everything, I refer you to what the ESRB has rated this site and it's content (look above at rating). Okay, first order of business.

Apple I'm sure most of you all know dropped major iPod bombs on Tuesday and I was going to put this post up on Wednesday, but I decided to hold off til Friday, because I know most of the readers who come here are just lazy ass bastards (except those I know) who just want me to whip up a recap video of all the funny photoshopped pictures. And this is what I have to say to that: I'm working on it. I swear I am. It'll come when it's good and ready. I just need to accumulate enough crap to compile first. I know you hate reading, and "moving pictures" is the future, but just be patient. Open a bag of Lays and munch for a bit, if you're done doing that, pop a can of Pringles, order some Pizza Hut, Dominoes, or whatever you prefer, maybe some Chinese or make a sub sandwich.

Right, back to the iPod news. Right. So the iPod Shuffle has gotten an upgrade and now it's half the size and 10000x easier for someone to steal off you if it's clipped onto your shirt or pants or wherever and it's 100000000000x more easier to lose when that headphone jack is yanked out. Oh Yea! Joy! I always did think the shuffle was iPods most retarded mp3 player anyway. Now I'm reconfirmed it. It is indeed retarded.

iPod Nano gets a makeover and turns back into the ugly fucktard it was originated from: the iPod Mini. Gosh I hate the new look. Theres no appeal and "cool" factor other than the fact of "colors" in which only the most bitchiest and ditziest of girls would buy the pink nano. Ex) Paris Hilton, Hillary Duff, Ashlee Simpson, Jessica Simpson, Lindsey Loham, all of whom I wish would do us all a favor and stop singing forever and maybe go hide in the same cave as Osama so we'd only have to hear about them 1x a year in grainy videos leaked out to news stations.

iPod video or just the "iPod" gets a brighter backscreen light - 60% brighter! Apple was holding out on us all along, really how much brighter can it get before you go blind staring at it? And longer battery! Whoop-dee doo. By the time the iPod battery dies, everyone will have gotten the next iPod. It plays movies that can be bought from the little fruity itunes movie store. Exciting right? disney movies! yay!! Now I can watch Cinderella on the go!! Sweetness! And finally they play shitty games now! Now, I'm not saying Tetris, Pac-man and Bejeweled are crappy, because Tetris owns every videogame ever (not the DS one, classic). But games like Zuma and Texas Hold'em suck dick and should be loaded into a truck and dumped into a desert like thse E.T carts for the atari 2600. All games are optimzied and designed for the iPod click wheel. Apple, have you looked at how many buttons are on the iPod lately? Not too many, dumbass.

Apple changed the design for the iPod headphones and man they look fuglier than the original. The new nanos should be called mini. Apple if they were smart could have had the iPod, shuffle, nano AND mini to offer consumers. The new nanos are $50 cheaper than the old nanos. The old was $149 for 1gb and $199 for 2gb. The new ones look like a hobo crapped them out and they cost less? $149 for 2gb. Way to screw over people who just bought a nano on MONDAY or even TUESDAY MORNING.

***WARNING*** I don't own an iPod or will ever own one. But if Apple would like to possibly "change" my mind by sending me a complimentary iPod then I would be tempted to possibly change my view and join the legion of the iPod cult. *nudge nudge* Apple send an iPod this way *nudge *nudge*

Or if anyone would like to send me one, I would be happy to try it out and perhaps change my mind.

Now, that all my "ihateapple" stuff is done, back to the PSP. Gosh I hate this fucker. Sony officially announced a $249.99 entertainment pack for the PSP on Wednesday. The pack includes a Lords of Dogtown UMD movie (never watched it, but title seems stupid), ATV Off Road Quad Fury game ($20 value) and a 1GB Memory stick (shit, 1 gb? fuck you Sony for only giving us a shitty 32mb one with the original value pack). All that for $250. Sony, you really fucked all the "core" owners. I hate you for doing this to me and making me feel ripped off and also for never offering the WHITE psp in America. America sucks when it comes to getting limited edition sony crap. See Europe? Sony fucked us over too, so shut your yap about the PS3 delay because you know it's gonna be garbage too.

I'm exhausted from typing this. Wait I haven't even gotten to the PINK PSP yet. I think I'll just leave a picture to express what I know you all are thinking already:

Oh and this is stupid, Sony and Puma teamed up to sell this piece of trash:

And finally, because it's so frickin cool. LEGO BATMAN!

Filler CRAP!

Super Obnoxious Nutty Yaks?

2006-09-08T10:50:00.000-04:00

Okay, no doubt. I wrote some blogs, but I think I'm gonna come back and post those later.

The issue at hand now is Ridge Racer! Riiiiiddgee Racerr - as Kaz Hirai put it at e3 2006. No, no the issue is not that. The issue here is the "PSP is the walkman of the 21st century" as Ken Kutaragi put it. No, I'm terribly sorry, that's not the issue at hand either. The issue at hand is the Blu-Ray diode shortages...no, no that's not what I really care about. I do feel sorry for the Euro folks, because Sony just royally fucked you guys over. Oh and also you "other" PAL area dudes....

I'm not a fan of the PS2 or the PS3 or for the matter anything PlayStation. I also hate Xbox and Xbox 360, so who's left for me? Well, I hate PC games and I hate Nintendo's shitty GameCube and it's shitty name for it's next console. Note that the Wii name sucks ass but the machine is better. Whatever, I'm gonna keep calling it "Revolution" and when I do get one, I will cross off Wii on the remote and the console and replace it with REV written with a permanent Sharpie marker.

Aside from the delay of the PS3 to March 2007 in Europe, what about the shortages? 400,000 units for America and 100,000 for Japan. Fuck you Sony. Not that I would ever buy a PS3, but I always knew you were all bullshit. Nothing but hot air
to hype everyone up.

The PS3 has been stripped and stripped and now it's almost a piece of nothing. I'm 95% sure that the 500,000 units that actually ship, there will be tons of defective Blu-Ray drives. Why? The shortage of BR diodes and the fact that Sony doesn't
know what the fuck they're doing this time around. And who wants to play with a controller without rumble anyways? "Move the controller to pilot a plane" Why the fuck would I wanna do that when I can just move the analog stick? Retards.

Sony announced that HDMI cables (in order for TRUE HD to be viewed) would not be packed in with the PS3. Well, fuck you again Sony. That's just stupid. Then what's the point of telling everyone that 1080p (highest HD resolution) will be what
separates the PS3 from the 360 when a) most people don't own HDTVs that can output 1080p or even 1080i and b) most of your games are in 720p - the same as 360 games? True HD my ass. You're telling consumers that they are responsible for TRUE HD
when you've been feeding us all this crap about the PS3 ushering in TRUE HD. You fucktards.

The PS3 shape has always been ugly. I'll tell ya what Kutaragi, the PS3 definitely isn't the "most beautiful thing in the world" and I'll tell you another thing, the PSP, also not the most beautiful thing in the world. I know a few things that
could easily beat the PSP in looks. How about.....a sexy girl? Hmm? Never factored in the competition eh Kutaragi? Looks like you've lost your way my brotha, and I won't help you find the right one. Especially cause the right way is Nintendo who's
gonna kick everyone's ass this time around. The DS is beating the living shit outta the PSP in sales, and all the PSP can dish out is a crapass 1.3 megapixel camera? Dude, there are Sony Ericcson PHONES with higher megapixels than that piece of crap.
And that GPS unit? Who the fuck is really gonna buy that shit? Even if you could play Metal Gear Solid: Portable Ops with it. Like I played Metal Gear Ac!d 2 with that dumb "vision eye"? Shit no.

Sony released a LocationFree TV tower thingymobob just a few days ago. Look at it. That is how the PS3 should have been designed to look like. Not that huge waffle iron. IT's reminscent of the PS2, but it has that nice "glossy" look to it and looks extremely sleek.

"This is Living" campaign that was advertised in Europe and hit YouTube shortly showed that Sony's marketing is clearly being run by monkeys. "This is Living?" That has got to be the worst slogan ever. Worse than "Jump In" for the 360. I'd give you more props even if you completely copied the 360's water balloon fight commercial and instead of saying xbox 360 on it, slapped on PS3.

Then we have the case of Sony and their retarded French PS2 ads. Dude, you can use sex, but a guy sniffing panties (which are supposed to represent "triangle, circle, x and square") was just retarded. As if that was the bad news. They also had this retarded ad with body parts sticking everywhere and nipples fleshed out. When did they let nipple shots out for ads? I'd understand if Sony was going to advertise for their new Porn cameras or something, but for the PS2? What the fuck do nipples have anything to do with the PS2?

The Pink PSP to be released in Europe. Dude, I don't think anyone wants to buy a PINK PSP. The idea of playing with a PSP with ongoing watchers on the train is viewed with the idea that the PSP is a snazzy high-tech device that plays games. The black and white models help promote this "gadget" like feel. Adding that ugly HOT Pink PSP model is a terrible idea. If you were going to make a pink, at least you could have made it in a shade that didn't let everyone know you were a big airhead a la Paris Hilton. See this Nintendo DS Lite's pink shade? It's soft and looks appealing. It doesn't hurt anyone's eyes from a mile away!!

What the PSP needs is some direction. Whoever is running the PlayStation HQs is running it into the ground. The PSP mic? That was a bust. You'd be stupid to pay $30 for the headset just for Socom. And the ONLINE wi-fi which they retardedly named "infrastructure mode" lacks major support from Sony and 3rd parties. When your biggest "hit" is LocoRoco, a game about a bunch of bouncing blobs, then I think we know who is "kiddy and doesn't have mature games".

One of my favorite complaints about the PSP is that it lacks great demos like the DS. Sony doesn't want to give you these goodies. UMDs also are too expensive. Look at what Warner Brothers did in Japan. They lowered UMD movie sales to about $8.50 USD and badaboom, UMD movie sales actually increased 10x (that's a real estimation not exaggeration). The PSP also has too many ports whether it's from PS2 to PSP or PSP to PSP like GTA: LCS. Sony isn't showing any love for the PSP and it's not giving incentive for any PSP owner to not sell their worthless system and buy a shiny white DS Lite. I don't even think that PS1 games that are scheduled to hit the PSP in November will save it. Do we really want to play 10 yr old games like Ridge Racer and Gran Turismo from the PS1 on our PSPs?

No one's buying any games for the PSP. Hell, I'm only buying the Greatest Hits games. Have another fuck you Sony.

super sexy.............yea, the title has nothing to do with the post...just read it

2006-09-01T19:09:00.000-04:00

I haven't blogged in ages. But here's what I really have to get out. The world is going crazy. Videogame companies are going crazy. People
are turning dumb. What happened to the good old days when people wanted to ride Kawasaki motorcycles? Harleys...and BMWs motos? It seems these days
people are all about spazzing out by geeking out.

Look at these:

A PSP Vespa! Now, shouldn't Sony be concentrating more on selling their SYSTEMS instead of slapping PSP on their lame PlayStation Signature Series?
Where is Sony's priorities? Clearly, on selling you a Vespa with a PSP logo on it.

Check this out as well.

Some loser had so much time, he pimped his scooter to be like Pikachu. Like we don't have enough Pika vehicles floating around...Volkswagon Beetle anyone? This one's not official from Nintendo, but come on...

And yesterday, I found this. An official Konami Frogger scooter...

They are butt fugly.

Anyone who wastes money on this garbage deserves a swift kick in his/her ass.

Moving on to more important issues...let's talk more about the PSP. It seems to be topic everyone loves.

So everyone knows that the PSP now has some "Greatest Hits" titles...

To name a few:

-Ape Escape
-Wipeout Pure
-Midnight Club 3 Dub Edition
-Hot Shots Golf
-Lumines
-Tony Hawk
-Untold Legends
-Star Wars Battlefront 2
-Twisted Metal
-and some other shit

Anyway, where the fuck is Ridge Racer? It's listed on the PSP official website and shows a pic. Ridge Racer should have been in the first wave of Greatest Hits.

No doubt, this is a good direction. I bought Midnight Club 3. I plan to go and get Tony Hawk and the when Ridge Racer is out get that.

I've downloaded all the PSP demos I could get. Japanese Sudoku, all of that crap. Sony Japan's demos, America, and Euros demos. I got them all. I got more demos than games.

$20 per game is pretty good. I just hate the load times in Midnight Club 3. Up to 30 secs of loading. Shit, I spend more time in the garage pimping my car with useless decals and shit than racing.

Now if we could only get GTA: Liberty City Stories for $20 and I'd be set. Portable gta, cause we all know gta advance for the gba kinda sucked ass.

I can't believe I said something positive about the shitty PSP.

I'm looking at magazines on a rack at Borders Books. I see this magazine called "PURE PSP MAGAZINE". It was only $5, so I pick it up. Well, i picked it up cause it said it has some sweet kickass pirates of the caribbean: dead mans chest skin inside for your psp.
I open it up, and I'm all excited about putting a skin to quickly make my PSP look retarded for all to see, and when I put it all on. Somehow, it doesn't seem to scream, KICKASS to me. I mean, sure, the skin is cheap ass sticky shit which is always a plus when buying skins to dress your consoles up in, something wasn't right.
Sure it's always nice to look at jack sparrows sexy mr. wonka face, what made me sad was they put keira nightley on the back. what made me even more sad was they had to put bloom's ugly mug behind her might hottness. But then again, i'm just a person who is totally in love with keira nightley. Damn, wtf am i saying, this is the best
PSP skin ever, even if nightley is on the back. at least my fingers get to rub against her smooth face when i'm gaming right?

That's CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow your sexiness

Elizabeth Swann - "Thank you for all your pleasant touchings Monsieur Blade"

Awwww, the PSP isn't a piece of shit after all. Hatsumi here showed the world that the PSP is a babe magnet. Now, everyone go and see if you have a girlfriend who is willing to lick the side of your PSP for you. Nothing's hotter than a girl licking the crap outta shiny plastic. I don't even think sex could top it. PSP LICKING! Yea!!!

Hurray for licking. If it weren't for her licking, I would have had to post a picture of Ken Kutaragi or Kaz Hirai licking it, and boy that would have been ugly

ok. that's it for today. go! run, lick your PSP! NOW! DO IT. DO IT NOW!

IGN Responds to my msg

2006-08-16T16:52:00.000-04:00

Quick update to this practically dead blog, which I will resurrect. Take that bashers!

Hey PSP IGN,

Okay, I'm a PSP owner and I'm just disappointed with the PSP lately. First there is the lackluster line up of games. Remember all those PSP games that were supposedly "in development" at e3 2004? Where are they now? I recall Sony throwing around numbers of games in developments that reached up to 80ish? Did all those developers just magically disappear? Did they?

Sony made the UMD. They're proprietary, yeah, but they're on a CD-like format and should be cheap to manufacture by now right? Sony Japan created a "Greatest Hits" for PSP games, so where is the US's version of that?

I'm a PSP gamer and I still don't have any games. They're just too expensive. I have a Daxter demo (which I won from an online contest) and I just downloaded the LocoRoco demo that is available in the 2.71 firmware update. Come on. Where are all the free demos? The thing that made the Playstation and Playstation 2 great were free CD content. Look at OPM (Official Playstation Magazine), they give out a nice DVD worth of PS2 demos, videos, etc with each mag, which is one of the reasons I pick the mag up. Even OXM (Official Xbox 360 Magazine) has free game demos. So why no PSP love? Either they distribute it via download on the Internet or just pack it in with OPM....

The Nintendo DS has a nice batch of DS downloads. And the PSP is just more powerful. It should get more love!

-- sling blade

I think anyone that reads your email will wholeheartedly agree with you. To be honest, it seems like everything you've mentioned is overdue. I can't seem to recall what UMD production costs are, but I do know that you can pick up free demos on the discs at EB and such from time to time, so they can't be too expensive anymore. So yeah, hopefully Sony and its third-party devs will make with the givey-givey much more often in the future and couple demos with magazines, ship them to stores and more.

On a positive note, once the PS3 rolls out in November and Sony's online plans are up and running, the PSP's connectivity to it should allow for many more downloadable demos. We hope, anyway.

-- Chris

For the Lazy Bums

2006-06-27T15:25:00.000-04:00

For those who missed this week (or just are too lazy to read):

ENJOY!

Porn drives Medias it seems

2006-06-26T16:34:00.000-04:00

making these pictures isn't all fun and games. it takes time to render these things. well, to tack in the funnies of course.

look at this painstaking Photoshop box...er..thingy....

the reason why you read about all that Porn (yes porn, i tried writing pR()n and it's just stupid. plain stupid) is because i recently read an article about what drives new media formats. and it was logically right to some degree.

think about it. porn ultimately decided VHS or Betamax. VHS was just cheaper to tape porn onto was clearer. you could actually see nipples the article stated!

then it was the vhs vs. dvd battle. obviously, sharper nipples = PWNAGE. So the DVD won out.

porn helped drive UMD (sony's psp format) movie sales in Japan and South Korea. and they said porn was bad...

porn was one of the first high drives to increase connections to the internet.

porn is now one of the first major industries to start selling you movies online and letting you burn them onto DVDs.

porn as time has proven will probably decide the HD-DVD vs. Blu-Ray format war.

face it. porn is what drives new medias.

in all honesty. i love nintendo. i love the DS. i love it to death. DS = DEAD SEXY okay? Nintendo DS, i love you so much. don't ever leave me. but really...it's a great system and worth all $130 washingtons you spend on it.

here's some good games to buy for it:

1. mario kart ds
2. new super mario brothers
3. X/y feel magic
4. metroid prime hunters
5. any other games that require major touching

I saw this somewhere and it was just priceless, I didn't make PS this image, someone else did. Everything else i did.

and to counter the nintendo honchos, i made this:

mr. kutaragi is really:

next topic.

i saw this over at engadget.com:

"You may have seen or heard of the WWPC (”wrist-worn PC”) concept by EuroTech — but now the company has released photos of this device in action. Just to recap, this 7-ounce watch boasts a 2.8-inch touchscreen LCD display, SD card slot, Bluetooth, GPS receiver, WiFi, USB alocknd support for Linux or Windows CE operating systems. One more picture after the jump."

http://www.linuxdevices.com/news/NS3769720650.html

PSP (porn station portable) vs. DS (dog shit)

2006-06-24T18:14:00.000-04:00

yesterday i took a bite out of the consoles. today i'm going to take a bite out of - you guessed it. the DS and PSP and the gb micro.

there is no doubt who will be victorious in the handheld wars. the winner of the ds vs. psp fight is so overly obvious that if you don't already know the answer, you're a nincompoopy head.

it's of course the PSP*

let's list again the reasons why the PSP has won and that the ds should roll over and die.**

1. PSP offers 16:9 "high-definition" screen pleasure (the better to watch your porn on)
2. Stores pictures (the better to save your porn pics onto)
3. PS2 games. Who doesn't want ports of PS2 games that we've already played?
4. Internet (too see more porno!)
5. Music (to hear all those moaning sounds that we recorded of ourselves when we were alone)
6. UMD movies (to watch imported japanese pornos!)
7. It's a porn machine galore!

I wish those babes could just out and..and..wait...what?

the ds is just stupid and nintendo should give up. it is the next gameboy so iwata should shut his mouth. "third pillar" my ass. notice how nintendo has been so hypocritical these last few months? HD is garbage (but let's make the wii version of zelda HD and make the GCN one not HD)

Pr()N coming to a DS near you!

of course, this is my blog, and it's all based on humor (at least some of the time, most people should know when i'm kidding, being sarcastic and joking) so i could be entirely wrong as these stats pulled off of joystiq.com say otherwise who's winning:

joyswiq stats:

- DS Lite: 141,487 9,460 (7.17%)
- PSP: 24,653 2,997 (13.84%)
- DS: 22,748 21,377 (1559.23%)
- GBA SP: 4,642 526 (12.78%)
- Game Boy Micro: 1,294 360 (21.77%)
- GBA: 20 10 (33.33%)

i deleted all the home consoles and left in only the portable handhelds' stats in.

then i was browsing thru kotaku.com and saw something breath-takingly hilarious:

"Devoted PSP players can explore their passion in complete privacy by using a model specifically designed for the device."

Now that is just funny. Who comes up with this stuff?

*again, if you really thought i was serious, then you know nothing about the ds vs. psp war.

**i do not watch porn or store porn pics/videos on my PSP. i think it's degrading to women around the world to watch them flail around. a night in paris was bad enough, i'd much rather prefer an intelligent woman who's sexy and beautiful in her own ways. not because of millions of horny men gawking at her breasts or pussy.

3 Consoles, One War, It's A Threesome anyway you look at it

2006-06-23T17:35:00.000-04:00

I couldn't resist. While browsing through Gizmodo.com I couldn't help but notice one of the greatest accessories for the ipod ever made.
NACHO LIBRE skins. They're the fugliest things in town, but don't they look snazzy?

Admit it, you know you want one to show off to all your buddies!

okay, on to today's adventure. life is increasingly depressing. it's like a huge stress to the left and a huge stress to the right. can't a guy relax these days? apparently not without spending a couple of G's here and there.

so the last 2 days, my free 1-yr subscription to Electronic Gaming Monthly arrived. I received May, June and July's issue's all in 2 days. Oh, FYI, there was some website that was handing out free 1yr subs to anyone who signed up about a month ago. free stuff right? i used to be an avid reader of EGM way back in the old days.
it was a good read, but then it became washed out with all these new writers and you know how things tend to go with new writers. then the art direction and magazine layout took a new road and i just stopped reading EGM's garbage. with the advent of RSS feeds and all that stuff and Mozilla Firefox (tabbed viewing) who needs magazines anymore right?
i found the news on the net before the magazines ever published the news. by the time the magazine hits your hands, the news is OLD news.

i have 3 issues. wtf am i supposed to do with them? i took a skin of july's issue featuring call of duty 3 on the cover and the mag just sucks. the only column worth reading is and always will be seanbaby's column in the back. he tackles the best stuff. who else is going to be brave enough to review barbie and olsen twins games?

guess i have something to use as toilet reading now eh, instead of the old playboy and penthouse mags* (like you'd even read)

how about the new console wars hmm? in the ring we have xbox360 vs. wii vs ps3. another 3 consoles, another bloody war on the horizon. bloody? hardly. im gonna just go out and shoot. Nintendo's going to come out on top. Wii will win. (3 W's, freakyyy) Why? There are many reasons.

1. Lower pricetag
2. Virtual Console (NES/SNES/N64/TurboGrafx/Genesis...etc...)
3. GameCube compatibility
4. Innovative controller
5. Everybody wants to try it
6. Super Smash Bros. Brawl (need I say more?)

here's the reasons why ps3 will suck balls:

1. $500 and $600 pricetags? FUCK NO
2. high development costs
3. you want high rez graphics? 360 can do just the same...
4. gta 4 no longer exclusive (admit sony, gta sold ps2s singlehandedly)
5. no rumble (swapping a motion sensor for rumble? good job sony)
6. i dont need a blu-ray player. my dvds work just fine
7. ken kutarugi and kaz hirai are idiots
8. this thing is a behemoth. people made fun of the xbox for being big. this thing is HUGE!
9. sony, you just suck

hello, my name is ps3 (love the originality dontcha?) and i like stealing ideas (like my motion sensor in controller) and calling it innovative! *bows* i'm also so gargantuous that i am hogging all this space on this blog post.

this might increase appeal for the ps3. mmmm....sandwich

and the xbox 360. it can just sit in the corner and screw itself with it's so called "bruce-lee" inspired case.

i'm too sexy for my car, too sexy for my controller, too sexy for bill gates...

*if you really thought i have playboy and penthouse mags, go and smack yourself. but i won't deny having a few issues of stuff magazine the occasional cosmo**.

**please note the name of this blog. thank you.

nacho dork

2006-06-22T19:44:00.000-04:00

i'm getting a little sick and tired of all the nacho libre crap. it's not napoleon dynamite and it's not benchwarmers...what it is is "not"cho funny movie. it's a corny piece of garbage. jack black hits an all time low with his latest outing.

jack black had a ncie run in king kong (remake) and now he's back to his regular old stupid antics, acting retarded. although i do admit, he's perfect at being an idiot.

the next thing i have to take of is podcasting. i've never jumped onto the podcast bandwagon, because i always felt that its as boring as listening to a radioshow, and i was right. i decided to listen to some podcasts off of 4colorrebellion.com and then some others and they just plain reek of shitty-ness. they suck ok? they're boring, bland and just plain annoying.

it's got to be boring old people who create these things...

i really don't see why they're all so exciting or interesting at all. if you want news on things, learn to read and you're good to go. a little bit of reading never hurt anyone and it'll help inprove your vocabulary.

anyways, i just had to get this out. i think i'm getting the hang of this.

Another funny day, and with FUNNY PICS!!! rofl

2006-06-22T13:55:00.000-04:00

I always have my camera on me whenever I go out. There are always things to capture. The other day, I captured some of the funniest shit you will ever see.

With a little bit of imagination and photoshop I give you these...

Free laptops my ass.. unless they're lap....uh....tops...(if you know what I mean...hehe)

Hitting up the old discount stores, I noticed this bootleg SideKick. Introducing the SLIDE CLICK!!!!

Most innovative and definitelynotrippedoffofanyotherdevice. This is the FUTURE!!

And what's this? A freebie? what a catch. How lucky was I to get to see an ad for FREE LAPTOPS, the Slide Click AND see in person the world's nerdiest family ever? I am blessed...

I just realized that my first video has an error. It says "webaster" instead of "webmaster". it's too late now. i cant fix it. all the material i editted it with are long gone in the trash and deleted. my mistake.

so how is everybody? feeling good? i'm loving blogging. it's so liberating. it's vindicating, i am selfish, i am right, i am wrong, i swear i knew it all along, and i am flawed...but i am cleaning up so well....ahhh enough of the dashboard confessional spider-man movie song.

i do feel free though. i dont need to type grammatically correct. notice how half way i just stopped putting a capital letter at the start of each sentence...

think you're starting to see a different side to sling? i hope i see that side...cause it's really dark and i can't see that side yet...let me know when you've seen it.

blogging like this also makes me sound like a child. it's 100% freedom. there's no limits.

so let's just plug in some useless junk like this:

oh hell i did.

what he needs is some weed...and a bag of pretzels!

First Video!

2006-06-21T11:06:00.000-04:00

I'm back again and I've just ventured into my first video creation which is now up on youtube for you all the view. Let me know what you think, etc...

I whipped this baby up in 20 mins. Those pics of the lightsabers were are taken by yours truly. A little gritty because it was on a cell phone camera. Little kids sure are funny. I thought it was too funny to pass up the oppurtunity to not post up.

The video rejuvenated something in me. I think the designer/creator/inventor side of me. I feel like I'm on a cloud where I can do anything I want. I can create anything, there are no limits.

It's extremely hot and humid here in Manhattan. Really disgusting. If you live in the area, stay at the office for the extra AC or just go somewhere cooler. It's not worth killing yourself in this humidity.

How is everyone else doing? Life? How is everything? I want to know. I feel that everything and everyone is becoming distant. The connections aren't as tight as they used to be. They're still there, just not as close.

Til next time!

Revival of the blog

2006-06-20T19:15:00.000-04:00

I forgot all about this, but I will be reviving it and writing in it on daily basis.

Things with Sennen Rage have gotten a little sidetracked. I've been so busy with my own things and updates on Yu-Gi-Oh! are kind of slow. Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters is over airing in the U.S. and I just don't care for GX at all. I don't like it and I don't think I'm going to follow it. But don't think I'm giving up on Sennen Rage, it's a big part of my time and life. I built it from the ground up. I will continue to build it. How I'm going to expand it is still on the drawing table. I'm thinking of possibly reworking a lot of the things. I want to get back to the basics of things. So I ask myself a few questions.

1. What was the original goal of Sennen Rage ?
2. Did I achieve that goal?
3. If I haven't, am I getting there?
4. If I haven't, is that goal still your goal?
5. Do you want it to be the same?
6. What about new ideas, EXPANSION?

There are many more questions I ask myself.

Ultimately, Sennen Rage will not be discintigrating. It will grow. It's still growing. How and to what it will grow into as I stated previously is to be determined.

Magician Orion's flee, left me to think of some things. I think I'm back on the track of working on Sennen Rage to the max. We'll see how it goes. Scarlet Spider, I hope his computer probs are fixed, because he is head of the TCG section of SR. Orichalcos Soldier, I know you've got a lot on your hands, but he said he's going to wrap up the SR Fan Fic, and if you decide to leave, then it's a great way to send you off. Joey, you're still hanging around, and I couldn't have it any other way. Naoko, I hope you have fun in the Phillipines this summer and can get a hold of some internet connection for a quick buzz-in.

Ryusaki, you're the newest member to the SR team, also the youngest I've ever scouted and hired on board. I hope you can help us lift up out of this dry-spell and drive more visitors to SR with your articles. I see your potential, and I want to help you tap it, as I've done others.

Here's the vid that Ryu made, and I think it's really nice.

The material I will be covering here won't be YGO related, it will be more about myself, more about my life, and the occasional TECH stuff, you know, gadgets, and video games, and my thoughts on the console wars, etc.

I'm going to leave this post and return tomorrow. Here's some pics of my PSP running Sennen Rage on it's Internet Browser.

2005-08-15T15:56:00.000-04:00

lalalala. boring....yeah....

um....what happened cotw reviewers? starting to slack off again huh? i got no reviews. oh this had better not be a revolution. i will not let you rebel! lol, only kidding. what else is there to say.

its friggin cold again. garrrrrr. it's sunny and hot one day and cold the next? rainy? finally it rains. all hail the rain gods.

booooo. im bored out of my friggin mind. what is there to do? i'm going to be just drifting around now. i'll be @ pojo to bash newbs and make them my cult followers. yeah, they like worship me or something.

what else. updated all that profile, interests, all of that stuff. naoko, i know you're gonna read it. go look now! LOL.

so...no comments huh? sad. its ok. i will not even bother finding other people. i don't need anyone. i can blog to myself! woo. now if anyone else has a blog and has tons of friends, invite them all to comment me, because well, it's sad that i don't have any friends or anything to help comment on my boring sad life.

um...how about those ducks huh? yeah, they're interesting huh? yea...ooo look pigeons....well, gotta go try to kill them...

2005-08-09T20:33:00.000-04:00

Well, today is the first time I've ever used one of these blogger things. I've decided to give in and just chillax about it and try it out.

Okay, so for those who care, my name is sling blade, webmaster of Sennen Rage, http://www.sennenrage.vze.com. Yeah, it's a Yugioh website. It's actually pretty popular. Ok, enough of that for now.

Well, I thought I might as well get an outlet for dishing out stuff. So, yeah, today was pretty lame. Basically stayed home all day. Watched a load of tv and ate a load of food. I'm going to start writing the update for tomorrow, so yeah.

The weather here is wack. It's all sunny one day and cold and breezy the next second. I have a light tan. But I guess I could use more sun.